Ah, where to begin with presidential candidate Kanye West after he subjected -- or is it subjugated -- the lot of us to his blunt, booze-swilling teach-your-children-well talk at the Video Music Awards.
West, 38, was awarded the MTV Michael Jackson Video Music Award Sunday night and took the same stage that he once jumped on to swipe Taylor Swift’s Moonman to deliver what seemed from the “bro”-go to be the makings of a Millennial stump speech.
"I have decided in 2020 to run for president," he declared after earlier insisting: “I’m not a politician, brah.”
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Swift referenced the now-infamous incident in presenting what amounts to an ersatz lifetime achievement honor.
She even said a bunch of nice things and then stood by future First Lady Kim Kardashian to further prove that everything is all good between Yeezy and TayTay.
"Something that you may not know is that Kanye West's first album, College Dropout, was the first album my brother and I ever bought on iTunes when I was 12 years old." she said. How nice.
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"Bro. Bro!" West, 38, said to a standing ovation. "Listen to the kids."
(Can someone please tweet us and let us know who “bro” and “brah” are and whether the labels are gender and non-gender binary inclusive. Thanks.)
And then, our new national nightmare began as West lectured us on Justin Timberlake’s tears, life in the juice lane, boozing, and taking the edge off.
"I know y'all might be thinking, 'Did he smoke something before he came out here? And the answer is yes, I did roll a little something," he continued.
Already, the paparazzi are following West and our fabulous future FLOTUS demanding to know whether West is really running.
He ain’t saying, and we have a feeling he’s gonna leave us all hanging.
You think this is all, what the kids say, cray?
We have two words for you: Donald Trump.