This just in: A Canadian Liver Foundation survey finds that baby boomers don’t practise safe sex.
It’s Mondo Viagra out there. One in three unmarried boomers aged 46 to 64 have unprotected sex with a new partner. Forty per cent of boomer men are open to one night stands; 33 per cent of boomers are into online dating; 57 per cent “feel freer” about sex; and 82 per cent believe it’s important to have an active sex life, even at their age.
It’s news that has an entire generation of adult children going “eeeeyyyyeeeewwww.”
But I don’t know why everyone is so surprised. After all, boomers grew up during the “sexual revolution” of the 60s, a clumsy, groping, inappropriately dressed era during which it was OK to love the one you’re with.
The sexual revolution is a thread that continues to run through society, although it’s unravelling rapidly, like that leisure suit in the back of the closet.
It was fatally infected by HIV, which any minister or priest will tell you is the microscopic wrath of God. Obviously, the baby boom is getting hard of hearing. And thanks to Viagra, that’s not the only thing that’s getting hard.
I guess when Paul McCartney wrote When I’m 64, he didn’t anticipate the future would include drug-induced supercharged priapism. The drug companies have created an epidemic of erectile dysfunction, targeting guys who once accepted the decrease in desire as yet another sign they will soon meet a tall dark stranger, and it won’t just be a one-night stand.
I was watching a football game the other day and learned that 40 per cent of adult males suffer from erectile dysfunction. When 40 per cent are affected, isn’t that normal? Why not just give in to your real secret urge to collect stamps, then have a nap … or just forget about the stamps and go straight to the nap?
You play, you pay, says the Liver Foundation. If you’re wondering if this survey is being brought to you by the wrong organ, it’s instructive to learn that 45 per cent of hepatitis B infections are contracted by boomers, not to mention all those other nasty little bugs out there disguised as Julie, 54, loves walks at sunset along the beach, or Eric, 60, still believes in magic. Yeah, right.
So the next time you feel bad, fellow boomer, because you would rather have a glass of warm milk than tempt the fates, just remember, the milk is pasteurized. And enjoy.
Paul Sullivan is a Vancouver-based journalist and owner of Sullivan Media Consulting;