If you’re one of those people who goes to a museum and looks at abstract art thinking, “What the hell are all these stupid shapes and colors? What is it even supposed to be? A 3-year-old could have made this!” then perhaps you’ll sympathize with the tale of one Carmen Tisch.
Tisch, 36, is obviously not a fan of abstract expression artist Clyfford Still, which she made quite clear December 29 when she entered a Denver museum where one of his paintings hung, dropped her drawers, rubbed her buttocks all over the canvas and then punched it a few times, according to the Denver Post. That’s not all, though. Tisch also peed all over herself. However, her stream missed the painting. Aiming is always hard when one is drunk.
“It doesn’t appear she urinated on the painting or that the urine damaged it, so she’s not being charged with that,” said Lynn Kimbrough, a spokeswoman for the Denver District Attorney’s Office.
Tisch was charged with criminal mischief after her butt-rubbing ways caused $10,000 in damage to the painting, since, you know, cleaning a $30 million painting apparently consists of something more than just drizzling a little Purell on it.