Dumb and dumber: the athlete edition - Metro US

Dumb and dumber: the athlete edition

Jessica Simpson’s stock continues to plummet, and it’s not because of her inflation. The entertainer is now settling for journeyman athletes.

Apparently, Simpson has been dating former San Francisco 49ers and New Orleans Saints tight end Eric Johnson for a few months. Johnson played five seasons in the NFL, doing a serviceable job and even having a good playoff game when he caught seven balls for 78 yards in a memorable 39-38 win over the Giants in 2003.

The problem is, Johnson attended Yale University. Simpson … well, famously thought Chicken of the Sea was … chicken, back in her reality show days.

It’s been a wild week for the those in the sporting world, with nearly all the entertainment coming off the field. Here are the five dumbest sports figures of early July:

1. JaMarcus Russell – The former No. 1 pick was arrested in Alabama over the weekend for allegedly possessing “codeine.” As legend in the south has it, codeine is part of a popular concoction called “Purple Drank.” Apparently it has the ability to transform an athlete’s body into that of Grimace.

2. Bobby Gonzalez – The former Seton Hall basketball coach was busted by police for allegedly shoplifting at a New Jersey mall. The item? A Ralph Lauren satchel — yes, a man purse — valued at around $1,400.

3. Damon Evans – The University of Georgia AD was arrested last week on suspicion of DUI. There was a 28-year-old female passenger, who wasn’t Evans’ wife. Police found red panties between Evans’ legs. His explanation: “She took them off and I held them because I was just trying to get her home.” Hunker down, you hairy Dawg.

4. Dmitri Young – This former slugger made about $52 million during his decade-plus as a pro. Less than two years after retirement, Young was busted for “possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of marijuana.” If you’ve made millions, don’t you have someone to hold your buds for you?

5. Mike Vick – Someone got shot at Vick’s birthday party. His lawyer claims the QB left 10 to 20 minutes before the incident. Surveillance cameras show it was just three minutes. We’ll say he has about 15 minutes of quality football left in him.

– Jason Raj McIntyre covers athletes off the field and runs the blog, www.TheBigLead.com

Metro does not endorse the opinions of the author, or any opinions expressed on its pages. Opposing viewpoints are welcome. Please send submissions to letters@metro.us.

More from our Sister Sites