Julia Stiles — a woman best known for starring in teen dramas that she no longer wants to talk about — got very secretly married the other day to her fiance, Preston J. Cook. Neat-o!
I mean, it was very secretive, until the actress utilized Instagram to announce that she and Cook and tied the knot over Labor Day weekend. And then had her rep confirm as much to Page Six. Which makes sense, I guess. She’s very pregnant! As you know, the rhyme goes, “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage,” not “First comes baby, then marriage? Who knows, nothing matters, marriage is a sham unless you’re those two characters from Game of Thrones.” The second isn’t as catchy!
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“Who doesn’t love a shotgun wedding?” she wrote. I mean, a lot of people, but I get what you’re trying to do, Stiles. I’ll allow it, but mostly just because I don’t have anything else to do.
Stiles and Cook, who works as a camera assistant, announced their engagement in early January 2016 — also via Instagram. Congratulations on being brave enough to get married and procreate in this political climate! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: couldn’t be me.