Melania Trump Smithsonian
Melania Trump. Getty

Melania Trump, wife of y’all’s president, Donald Trump, maybe never wanted to be the First Lady. Please take a bit of time to recover from this truly shocking news.

 

In a profile of the Melania, Vanity Fair reports that the same woman who delayed moving into the White House for five months wanted nothing to do with Trump’s run for POTUS, and she never thought he’d actually win.

 

“This isn’t something she wanted and it isn’t something he ever thought he’d win,” a longtime friend of the Trump family tells the magazine. “She didn’t want this come hell or high water. I don’t think she thought it was going to happen.” Same.

 

Still, the Trump family is a family synonymous with phrases like “dark and very confusing web of lies” and “Is Ivanka for real?” So naturally, a spokeswoman for FLOTUS shot the rumor down and neatly blamed it all on the liberals, in an effort to continue to be as one note as possible.

 

“Once again part of the liberal media, this time Vanity Fair, has written a story riddled with unnamed sources and false assertions,” the statement reads. “As a magazine tailored to women it is shameful that they continue to write salacious and false stories meant to demean Mrs. Trump, rather than focus on her positive work as First Lady and a supportive wife and mother.”

 

Ah yes, another “salacious and false” story. That’s the ticket.

The statement continues, “As has been stated on the record many times before, she is honored by her role.” Yes, perhaps. If honored, at times, means perpetually annoyed.

Perhaps one could be convinced that Melania both loves her husband and loves being the First Lady of the United States; they would simply have to ignore the times she has swatted her husband’s hands away at all opportune moments. And the time that she favorited a tweet that implied she hates her husband.

Oh, and everything else, too.