Who doesn't love a good bizarre lawsuit? Jose Hilario, who is currently serving a 10-year prison sentence for child pornography, is suing Taylor Swift for $100 million on the claims that she used his life story for lyrics on her hugely successful album "1989." In the handwritten — yes, handwritten — filing obtained by Radar Online, Hilario claims that he and Swift began an email correspondence in 2008 — shortly after she turned 18 — and started connecting via Skype because Swift "was lonely and sad and that she needed someone to chat with." After two months of virtual friendship, Hilario says they met up at a Rhode Island mall on April 13, 2008. "They hugged and kissed each other," the suit claims, adding that Swift promised "she would help him with his legal problems and that she would write and sing songs about him." The problem, apparently, is that Swift only did half of that, as he apparently discovered upon listening to "1989."

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"I know for a fact that the defendant have a good heart and that she will come back to her senses and not forget her promise that she made to me," Hilario's suit states, mysteriously switching from third to first person. It may seem odd, though, that a friend looking for legal assistance would also demand $100 million, but there you go. Oh, and Hilario is also asking Swift to introduce him to Miley Cyrus. Because of course.

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