If a hero is lucky enough to survive his adventure, he might get a commendation or a romantic partner. But those don't pay the bills.
This weekend's "Saturday Night Live" looked at the post-"Hobbit" career of Bilbo Baggins, who got to return to the quiet life he wanted — as a paper salesman. The man in the hobbit costume was Martin Freeman, who incidentally also played Tim in the British version of "The Office."
In the skit, Bilbo recounts his new quest to survive his obnoxious deskmate Gollum, deal with the office politics of working for a pervy Gandalf the Grey, and stoking a romance with the red-haired elf secretary. You've probably read that fanfiction, but the real thing is pretty great.