Any single girl can tell you that love is indeed a battlefield in the modern urban environment. The old dating playbook that recommends playing hard to get has become more tried than true. Men won’t engage in the chase when there are so many other women willing to be a plaything. So what’s a girl to do?
After getting dumped one time too many, former nice-girl Heather Rutman decided to change her ways. With her new book, “The Girl’s Guide to Depravity,” the Los Angeles native advises women to get tough, get gutsy and above all, don’t be afraid to get dirty.
“Even if we tried to play by those rules, we still got f–ed over in the end,” she says of traditional dating rules. “So you know what? Screw it. We’re just going to play by our own rules, and we’re not going to deny ourselves all these impulses that we have to have sex with a guy on the first date or to ask him out first. You could wait 10 dates to have sex with a guy and he could ditch you on date 9, so you might as well have sex with him on the first date because he’s still going to probably ditch you eventually, but at least you’ll have gotten laid.”
A pessimistic point of view? Sure. Rutman’s advice includes a guide for key medications a depraved girl needs (like Xanax, Ritalin and the ever-important Viagra). Her favorite chapters include those entitled “The Best Way to Get Over a Guy is to Get Under Another One” and “Flake on Him Before He Flakes on You.”
She freely admits that her book offers a highly cynical and somewhat tongue-in-cheek perspective on dating, but she also alludes to what can come along when you’re busy having fun.
“I think I’d be lying if I said that every woman doesn’t want to find love in the end, but I think there’s a lot to be said for [the idea that] when you stop looking for it, it happens,” she says. “You can agonize over it and drive yourself crazy trying to find the right guy, or you can have fun and just kind of see what happens. I think you eventually get the same result.”
Why don’t traditional dating rules apply anymore?
“It’s not a woman’s goal to find a stable provider who is going to be a good father. I think they’re looking for a soulmate or someone to have as a partner in crime, and that’s not always the most stable, mature person. It’s this person with whom you have this passionate, fun connection with. That means they could be an unemployed musician or kind of an alcoholic.”