How to get (and keep) the good ones - Metro US

How to get (and keep) the good ones

She’s one of those women you look at and know she’s never had a problem attracting or dating men.

Not that she looks like a supermodel; her warm smile radiates confidence and she has a way of making you feel at ease. And it’s true, she’s never had a problem getting guys — good guys. So what’s her secret?

“I’ve dated quite a bit and had a lot of good relationships,” says Kateryna Spiwak, professional dating coach. “And I always managed to screen and select well.”

The trick, the petite brunette says, is to never expect anything less than the best.

“I would tell my friends, ‘I’ve met another great guy,’ and they would say, ‘How do you do it?’”

“How do you not do it?” she asks, incredulous.

Spiwak decided to turn her success with the opposite sex into a career after many years of “coaching” her friends successfully through difficulties with relationships.

Her professional training includes a bachelor’s degree in psychology, certification in life skills coaching and certification in human resources management.

One of the biggest mistakes she sees women, in particular, making is they get involved with the wrong men who don’t treat them properly, she says.

They put up with them because they don’t believe they deserve better.

“I knew that I deserved a good relationship with a great guy who treated me well,” she says.

By “great guy” though, she doesn’t necessarily mean the athletic, tall, dark and handsome type; or the life-of-the-party alpha male.

“I was never really attracted to the bad boy type,” she said. “I have enough challenges in my life, I don’t need that challenge as well.”

An equal number of men and women come to see Spiwak, and their problems are generally quite similar.
When it comes to the men, some always seem to be looking for the “hottest” girl and miss some really great women along the way.

So one of the key ingredients to finding a good relationship, she teaches her clients, is having a good screening process.

Don’t waste your time with people who are not going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

Secondly, she said, believe in yourself: Have faith and be optimistic that you’ll find a loving, lasting relationship and that you deserve it.

Finally, once you’ve got the relationship, manage your expectations, she said.

“People think that once they’re in a relationship, it’s all smooth sailing.”

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