Biometrics is growing (and it's showing). You can unlock your cellphone with your fingerprint. The next iPhone could feature 3-D facial recognition. Retinal scans for security are on the way to the average citizen. Introducing the next wave of biometric security technology: your penis.
Instead of typing out a password, which we’re assuming you currently do with your fingers, whip out your wang for secure account access.
“During the log-in process, instead of typing in a password, users will have the option to upload a picture of their penis (preferably an aroused penis, which has more differentiating qualities for verification and are more secure),” the company explained in a press release. “Using proprietary Penis Recognition Tech or PRT, CamSoda is able to match that photograph with a previously supplied one, and verify the user.”
CamSoda doesn’t plan to stick with dick pics and is working on using “penisprints,” as in a “fingerprint" of your penis. The penile scan would also factor in skin composition and temperature.
“In order to ensure personal data is safeguarded against unwarranted individuals, biometrics have become progressively popular for its ability to provide a layer of security that is impenetrable,” CamSoda VP Darren Press said. “With the launch of Dick-ometrics, we are taking things to the next level. Like a fingerprint and an eyeball, which are two of most commonly used body parts in biometric technologies, the penis has many, many differentiating factors like size, color and vein protrusion. However, unlike fingerprints and eyeballs, penises are not exposed to the public a lot of the time and mostly kept under clothing and shared with loved ones – presumably who are trusted.”
Don’t worry, ladies, CamSoda doesn’t plan to leave you out. According to the company, CamSoda plans to develop new biometrics just for us.
Take your time, CamSoda. We're in no rush for that, are we, ladies?