I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.
Today, the news wires are clogged with the pathetic denouement of the Kardashian marriage. Kim, famous for nothing, dissolved her $10-million wedding 72 days after she and collateral damage Kris Humphries collected a cool $17.8 million for royalties from the vastly overblown event.
How do I know all this? All I had to do was go to my home page, iGoogle, and there were 2,968 Kardashian stories available for my edification.
At the same time Syria put land mines along the border with Lebanon, but that was a real yawner warranting a mere 360 articles. Do the math. That’s 10 times more articles about Kim Kardashian than impending war between Syria and Lebanon.
This much ado about nothing comes at a time when journalists are whining about how our precious profession is being twittered to death by ducks. The truth is, what’s really killing the news is a serious overdose of Kim Kardashian.
Of course, there wouldn’t be any Kim Kardashian news if the public didn’t want it. What’s wrong with you people? Had enough of Jennifer Aniston?
Still, I wonder about all those otherwise grownup professionals who filed copy about the world’s foremost phoney and her feckless boy-toy. It reminds me of the Richard Brautigan poem I Feel Horrible. She Doesn’t: “I wander around the house like a sewing machine that’s just finished sewing a turd to a garbage can lid.”
As a protest against this outrage against humanity, I will Occupy the Internet until it stops.
I don’t want to hear any more mealy mouthed arguments for “celebrity” journalism and “reality” TV, the Kardashian spawning ground.
I don’t want to hear any more nonsense about how journalism is threatened by technology or the Mayan Calendar or global warming. It’s threatened by bad choices. All we have to do is stop writing about Kim Kardashian. And other pointless phenomena.
I’m OK with confining Justin Bieber and Jennifer Aniston to the entertainment pages, although the actual form of entertainment has yet to be determined. But enough about Kim Kardashian’s $10-million phoney marriage, which could feed the one billion people on this planet who go hungry every night. That’s just wrong.
I know, it’s hard to Occupy the Internet, as that’s the whole point of the Internet. There’s no there there. But that doesn’t stop Kim Kardashian, who does it every day.
So it won’t stop me either. This is my tent. I’m staying until they drag me away.