Fox Sports 1 is the new 24-hour sports network launched earlier this week. It’s an attempt to compete and eventually unseat ESPN as the worldwide leader (hopefully). Obviously, we’re cheering for Fox here. ESPN is downright unwatchable these days. Unfortunately, the new network is off to a very shaky start.
Admittedly, we haven’t seen every single show, but the segments we’ve seen over the past few days have been pretty atrocious in their own right. Let’s take a look at three of them:
Example 1: Donovan McNabb, Andy Roddick, Gary Payton debate Ichiro Suzuki
If you got past the headline — and you probably did, this is akin to driving by a car accident … you just have to stop and watch — then you are in for a treat.
McNabb knocks Ichiro for not having enough doubles (who knew doubles were so important?); Payton reminds everyone that the Seattle Mariners used to be good; and Roddick is shocked, simply shocked, about stats. Soon, a spirited debate about Japanese baseball ensues. Pure gold here.
Example 2: Jay and Dan Get A Talk Show
So our research department tracked down the names of these two jabronis. They are Jay Onrait and Dan O’Toole — OK, that’s as far as we got. The highlight here is when Dan reveals a new segment he calls “The Juan” where they will feature the best of the best from athletes named Juan. To which, Jay corrects him, “It’s actually, ‘The One.'” Amazing. Don’t quit the day job.
Example 3: Crowd Goes Wild (Don’t Blame Regis)
This one actually has potential. But, let’s be honest, how can you not like Regis Philbin? Then again, the first clip we saw was centered around presenting Regis with a horse for his birthday. That’s right, a horse was the featured guest. Was Kathie Lee busy? Ooh, sorry about that one. We love Kathie Lee, too.