Robin Thicke has appalling sales with ‘Paula’ so he peddles flowers

Robin Thicke — who we would like to remind you had an international mega-smash last year with “Blurred Lines” — has reportedly only sold 54 copies of his latest release “Paula,” in Australia. You might think, “Oh, well, maybe they just don’t get him Down Under,” but you’d be wrong. The “Blurred Lines” single went 8x Platinum in Australia in 2013.

But according to news.com.au, Thicke’s album pleading for his wife back just did not resonate quite the same way in its first week of release. To put it in perspective, when a recording goes Platinum in Australia, it means it has sold 70,000 units, which is a bit different from the U.S. designation of Platinum, which means it has moved a million units. However, if a single is 8X Platinum, that means it has sold at least 560,000. This means that 0.00009643 percent of the people who bought “Blurred Lines” in Australia have bought “Paula.”

Worldwide, the album devoted to ex-wife Paula Pattinson isn’t faring much better. It sold 530 copies in the U.K. and reportedly in Thicke’s homeland of Canada, it sold 550.

Somebody on Thicke’s team must have gotten wise to these a-“Paula”-ing sales (sorry, we had to), because we received a press release today that he has partnered with 1-800-FLOWERS to promote his product.

Hopefully he’s also getting a frequent-flower-er discount from them as well because sending his ex-wife bouquets is reportedly his “Get Her Back” method of choice.

The press release in part reads …

When you want to “Get Her Back” or profess your “Forever Love,” you can now do it not only by playing the Robin Thicke singles of the same name but by offering romantic bouquets of roses also named after those songs. Teaming with the singer-songwriter, 1-800-FLOWERS.COM is naming a bouquet after the platinum-selling, Grammy-nominated Thicke’s current single, the heartfelt “Get Her Back,” as well as one after his soon-to-be-released single “Forever Love.” Both tracks can be heard on Thicke’s new album on Star Trak/Interscope Records. Customers purchasing either bouquet will receive a digital download of the album after its release.

Hopefully Thicke is also getting a cut of the proceeds because the “Get Her Back” bouquet features 100 premium long-stem red roses in a clear vase and sells for $349.99!

We’ve really got to think that this whole breakup and breakup album is some sort of elaborate stunt that we don’t yet understand.

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