Annie Apple is by and large one of the most interesting follows on Twitter, the NFL reporter for ESPN is also the mother of New York Giants cornerback Eli Apple. But there comes the time and place that the entertaining Apple — usually humorous and clever — manages to top herself.
That time came on Wednesday and the place was jury duty no less.
Annie, who rose to fame three years ago by letting NFL commissioner Roger Goodell know that the desserts were lacking at the draft, dove in fully to give a play-by-play of her time spent on jury duty. While making frequent mentions of actor Idris Elba throughout her tweets, Annie summed up the blend of frustration, boredom and sheer inspiration that comes from the shared suffering that is jury duty in all of its infuriating glory.
As of print, it appears that Annie’s day hasn’t seen her called to do anything more than watch ‘Property Brothers’ and find her fellow civic-minded (or civic-forced) fellow jury participants slightly irritating.
Oh, and plenty of Elba. Like cowbell, Annie can never have too much Elba.
Here’s a look at Annie’s inspirations and the good, bad and ugly of jury duty:
The orientation judge just told us years ago two jurors met here, fell in love and are happily married. She told all the single people to look around and check out the room and that this is better than a dating site. Ma’am I’m here for justice not love. Unless Idris is a juror😊— Annie Apple (@SurvivinAmerica) April 11, 2018
So far there’s been no jurors love connection. But I think the loud snoring guy with the plumber’s crack is single.— Annie Apple (@SurvivinAmerica) April 11, 2018
Worst part about jury duty so far is the lady who insists on sitting behind me and coughing on my neck. 😩— Annie Apple (@SurvivinAmerica) April 11, 2018
And then Annie had a mid-afternoon change of heart and decided to drop Elba like a bad habit:
Then it was back to observing the human condition that is jury duty:
We’ve been sitting here all day ready to serve as jurors. So far no call from the judge. If I believed in purgatory, this is what it would feel like but everyone would be better dressed.— Annie Apple (@SurvivinAmerica) April 11, 2018
Guy next to me who for 17 minutes this morning repeatedly cried “I just wanna go home” is now asleep. He still hasn’t gone home 😏. #JurorLife— Annie Apple (@SurvivinAmerica) April 11, 2018
Finally finished off by summarizing how everyone feels during jury duty. Or at the DMV. Or during Giants games last year under Ben McAdoo:
So this is what high school detention feels like. #JurorLife— Annie Apple (@SurvivinAmerica) April 11, 2018