Admit it: You’re a little sick of online dating. Wouldn’t it be easier if someone else did all of the hard work?
Tawkify is a concierge dating service that’s been setting up single people with similar interests since 2012. Your designated matchmaker puts you in contact with someone compatible — and even plans an exciting first date. About 56% of participants opt for a second date; but if it doesn’t work out, you can just move on to another hand-selected candidate.
Part of what makes the service great is that you’ll be paired with the right matchmaker for you — although the team often collaborates to find satisfaction for all clients. Julia, for example, comes from a background in publicity. George specializes in event planning. Together, they gave us a little more insight about this whole matchmaking gig.
Why is Tawkify unique from other dating systems?
Julia: Tawkify does not charge a flat fee in the thousands. We’re a month-to-month service, just like Match.com — except there is NO ALGORITHM. All of us matchmakers have unique backgrounds and bring our own perspectives to matching. The Tawkify team works together to give the clients matches grounded in multiple layers of compatibility.
How does this refresh old-fashioned ideas of matchmaking?
George: One of the toughest parts of the job is convincing people that it’s not natural to meet people based on pictures and profiles. We’ve become used to a process that we all admit is toxic, but we believe it’s best because we are allowed to comfortably form preconceived notions while laying in our beds with our cell phones. Matchmakers didn’t have to [explain] that a couple decades ago.
What’s the hardest challenge that your clients overcome?
Julia: New clients must learn to relinquish control to the matchmakers, as the idea of “mystery date” can be quite nerve-wracking. In order for the matchmaker to introduce the client to the best match, the client has to be open and honest with the matchmaker. Building trust can take time, so we should have open and ongoing communication.
What do you consider the best and worst parts of your job?
George: I found a way to make my social life my job! But I hurt for my clients when things don’t work out their way. Some clients are harder than others, and it’s hard not to take it personally.
What should expectations be for a first date?
Julia: Going into a first date I bring my clients expectations down to zero. This is an introduction they wouldn’t receive otherwise, so it is required that they go in with an open-mind to adventure. Sometimes friendship comes out of it, sometimes romance comes out of it, sometimes self-awareness comes out of it. It’s an exercise of vulnerability!
What is your process like if you’re out looking for matches for your client?
George: When out in the field (hunting singles), I am very direct. I want to know what someone does for a living and whether or not they’re single. If they seem like they can hold a conversation, I ask for their contact information and aim to learn more about them with a follow-up call or meet. When selecting a match for clients, I approach each person differently. Depending on my clients’ goals and their stage in life, I aim for fits that will treat them well. It is my goal to filter out the jerks and flakes.
What are the qualities of a Tawkify client?
- They don’t want to be online, [or] they want transparency in the online world.
- They want to outsource their dating, with the personalized attention of a human being.
- They want to expedite the dating process.
- They are open and eager to find love!
What are the qualities of a Tawkify matchmaker?
1. Reservation of judgment. Everyone has baggage. Everyone has preferences. A matchmaker comes from a place of acceptance.
2. Ability to read between the lines. Some people open up more easily than others.
3. Hope. You need to believe there is a chance for everyone.
4. Realism. Tempering expectations is the toughest lesson to learn.
Why are you a Tawkify matchmaker?
Julia: I’m an identical twin, so I was born with a heightened level of empathy. That — coupled with my passion for communications, social media and game theory — drives me. In terms of recruitment, I utilize my background in PR — relying on online and offline resources to recruit potential matches. I call this part my “media outreach.” I’m constantly optimizing my response rate through trial and error!
George: The first time I tried to help a friend get the girl was in second grade. The first time it worked was in fifth grade. I have set up friends with girls I had crushes on — and I’ve set up my crushes with guys they were chasing because I knew I didn’t have a chance. I keep tabs on dating trends, principles of attraction and relationship building techniques.