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The Royal Wedding one year later: Where are they now? – Metro US

The Royal Wedding one year later: Where are they now?

This weekend marks the one-year anniversary of the most romantic event of our time, the royal wedding of Prince William and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge.

To mark on the happy occasion, Metro has done exhaustive research in presenting you an official Where Are They Now guide to all the famous faces from Will and Kate’s dream-day.

Let’s get to it!

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson has graduated from university and begun an unpaid internship at Crayola working as a crayon.

For safety reasons, Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice of York have since been banned from visiting British zoos and aquariums.

Former footballer David Beckham has unfortunately fallen on hard times. Witnesses report seeing Beckham wandering around discount retailer H&M in a naked stupor at all hours of the day, and rambling unintelligibly about galaxies.

Queen Elizabeth II of England is celebrating her Palladium Anniversary this summer, to mark 125 years on the throne. The ceremony will be marked by performances from popular musicians of the time, like J. Cheever Goodwin, Albert Chevalier, and John Phillip Sousa.

After her hatless disavowal of fashion laws, Samantha Cameron was locked in the Tower of London for crimes against the state, where she is believed to remain today.

Prince Albert of Monaco has returned to his first love, the theater. This spring, he originated the role of George Costanza in “Seinfeld: The Musical!” in London’s West End.

Grace Van Cutsem was named “best behaved” at Henrietta Barnett’s School for Girls in Hampstead.

Due to her failure to produce a male heir, Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge has been beset by accusations of incest and rumors of an affair with her favorite bard.

Pippa Middleton’s Rear End has gone solo. In an interview with Life & Style, the famous behind reveals that “jealousy” was the reason behind the split, and says she she expects to release her first LP in time for the Christmas charts.

Sources close to Prince William’s Scalp have said it understands what the fuss is all about, and is thankful Pippa Middleton’s Rear End was there to take up most of the attention.