Metro’s Monday night TV breakdown.
‘Mud Lovin’ Rednecks’
REALITY. This is a new show about Alabama hicks who are really into some sort of hick sport known as “mud racing.” In the premiere episode, said hicks are planning a wedding that will take place in a bog. These people are going to have a wedding in a bog.
Series Premiere, 8 p.m., ANIMAL
‘The Real Housewives of Orange County’
REALITY. This is the last part of a three-part reunion wrapping up yet another season with the bleached blonde bimbos who started it all. And by “it all,” we mean the surgically enhanced, televised human car crash that we can’t tear our eyes away from.
8 p.m, BRAVO
‘Fashion Police: 2013 MTV Video Music Awards’
FASHION. Missed the VMAs last night? That’s OK, you can catch the highlights of the really important stuff — who had camel toe, who looked like a hobo, etc. — when reanimated cadaver Joan Rivers and company recap the night’s fashion choices.
9 p.m., E!
‘Teen Mom 3’
REALITY. We wish we had enough willpower to NOT watch this show, out of respect for just how messed up a reality show that essentially glamorizes and encourages teen pregnancies is, but who are we kidding? We’re probably going to tune in to the two hour (whoa) season premiere that introduces the world to a whole new cast of young girls who are gladly letting the world watch them throw away their futures. We’re not proud.
Season Premiere, 10 p.m., MTV