Metro’s Tuesday night TV breakdown.
‘Snooki & JWoww’
REALITY. Sigh. “Jersey Shore” was one of the best reality shows to ever soil the small screen (seriously, when that show debuted we were all “uh, what is THIS, now,” and then proceeded to watch it obsessively, because, come on, it was awesome in its greased up glory). On the opposite end of that spectrum is this humdrum spinoff, which chronicles what happens after “Jersey Shore.” Spoiler alert: not a whole lot. Tonight, Snooki shops for a wedding dress. We’re not sure that Fredrick’s of Hollywood sells bridal wear.
10 p.m., MTV
‘Shahs of Sunset’
REALITY. Tonight, MJ stirs up drama (and probably earns herself an ass kicking) when she blabs one of GG’s secrets to the rest of the gang. GG weighs about 12 pounds soaking wet, but she is terrifying.
10 p.m., BRAVO
‘Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition’
REALITY. Speaking of scary, Abby is the sort of lady (“lady,” here, being a euphemism for a real, live Gorgon’s Head) that will haunt your dreams — not in a good way. Seriously, sending your kid to Abby’s dance class has got to count as a special form of child abuse. In the hour-long season finale, Abby selects the winning dancer (and probably crushes the dreams/hopes/souls of other young children in the process).
Season Finale, 9 p.m., LIFE