Last night, “Late Show” host Stephen Colbert tore Donald Trump a new one, and the two-minute rant may be the most brutal one leveled against an American president on network television. It is, at least, the first insinuation that a sitting president enjoys performing oral sex on the leader of a foreign adversary.
Colbert has been increasingly critical of Trump since his inauguration (even capping one monologue with a blurred-out middle finger), which critics said helped his once-struggling show find its creative footing. And ratings have surged faster than Chris Christie’s blood sugar after a Cinnabon run. But last night was something else. Colbert was provoked by Trump’s Waterloo of an interview with CBS’s John Dickerson, host of “Face the Nation,” which the president called “Deface the Nation.”
Under the guise of CBS family loyalty, Colbert began, “John Dickerson has too much dignity to trade insults with the president of the United States to his face. But I, sir, am no John Dickerson.”
He then began a 90-second Dean Martin roast from the seventh circle of hell, including:
“I love your presidency. I call it ‘Disgrace the Nation.'”
“You attract more skinheads than free Rogaine.”
“You have more people marching against you than cancer.”
“Your presidential library will be a kid’s menu and two issues of ‘Juggs’ magazine.”
And this capper:
“The only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin’s c*ck holster.”
Gulp.
Tonight: Stephen tells the President everything journalists, restrained by their dignity, wish they could say. #LSSC pic.twitter.com/FHG4jvF8fv
— The Late Show (@colbertlateshow) May 1, 2017
Twitter didn’t hold back:
@colbertlateshow I’m shocked and saddened that CBS would allow such disrespect to the President and…
JUST KIDDING- THAT WAS EPIC-NESS OF EPIC PROPORTIONS!
— DougZ (@Doug_Zbi) May 2, 2017
@colbertlateshow @Dave_MSS Well done, sir. #Pricktator #CockHolster #PresiDunce pic.twitter.com/bDMqUY5BFh
— Maple Syrup Shots (@MapleSyrupPod) May 2, 2017
@colbertlateshow Thank you, that was like a refreshing spa treatment!
— Mindy E. Moak (@MinD_MMEgal) May 2, 2017
@colbertlateshow @ThomasJankow Good to know someone has dignity and big balls !
— RATHER INCOGNITO (@POLILLITAM) May 2, 2017
@colbertlateshow That was executed to such perfection, like a russian ballet 🙂
— julia fridman (@juljulik) May 2, 2017
@colbertlateshow @TrumpsMeltDown This was hilarious! Stay tuned because putin’s holster is going to go berserk and release a tweet storm in 5..4..3..2..
— Herlinda Guadarrama (@MexIcanDO) May 2, 2017
The White House has not responded. This morning, President Trump tweeted twice, suggesting that the government be shut down.