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We have questions about the 'Game of Thrones' finale — and that steamy sex scene

Your weekly burning questions.
Game of Thrones Goth Cersei Lannister
Cersei is goth now, in case you forgot. Photo: HBO

Y’all know that I love “Game of Thrones.” It’s been a pleasure watching these characters grow into full blown monsters over the last seven seasons. And it’s been an inspiration watching Jon Snow go from emo loser to certified zaddy. Also, I would have never considered a eunuch bae before I laid eyes on Grey Worm — I mean, I’m still not, but I could, you know?

Still, this season has been kind of, I don’t know, meh? Sure, tons of exciting things happened but the finale felt like anything but. It wasn’t that exciting, for one, or conclusive, for another. To end both seasons 6 and 7 with another Rhaegar/Lyanna/Jon reveal is pretty stale, no?

Still, I have a lot of questions — for David Benioff, for D.B. Weiss, hell, for whoever is in charge of the fashions for House Targaryen. Here are the most burning questions I’ve got.

Are they sure his name is Aegon Targaryen?

How does one go from being named Aegon to being named Jon? I know Ned Stark was pretty into being basic, but damn.

Again: Is Cersei really pregnant?

Looks to me like Cersei is just playing everyone left and right. And her so-called pregnancy — that is probably the Westeros equivalent of burrito bloat — is just another way for her to manipulate those around her. On the other hand, it doesn’t look like that’s working with Jaime.

Speaking of hands (which Jaime only has one of), where is this dude going?

We see Jaime leaving King’s Landing after Cersei nearly has her zombie bodyguard kill him. He said he made an oath, or whatever: Does that mean he’s going to join up with Jon and Dany to fight the Night King?

Why is Theon even allowed in the room anymore?

Theon is seen in the decision room — you know, when Dany is just like, I’ll ride in the ship with my nephew so I can make sweet love to him on our way North — even though he literally never has anything to contribute. He doesn’t go here! Also, PS, sorry, I don’t care about your redemption arc, my dude.

Are they done hinting that Dany can get pregnant?

As if two major discussions in the penultimate episode weren’t enough, Dany brings up that she can’t have children, again, to Jon, making it so clear that they’re TRYING. TO. MAKE. A. POINT. Kudos to Jon, though: when Dany is like, I’m not pregnant and “the witch who murdered my husband” told me, Jon is like “Nah, girl. She was probs lying.” Thank goodness someone around here has a lick of sense.

How should we celebrate Littlefinger’s death?

Frankly, it was the only good part of the episode. Seeing the Starks come together for murder was like, really touching, you guys.

Did you know Rhaegar was fine as hell?

Like, super fine.

What’s the future for Dany and Jon?

Dany and Jon went from eye banging each other to using their actual genitals to bang each other and it was… fine? Lackluster? Very vanilla? This is medieval times, basically, I’m sure you guys can afford to spice it up. Methinks Jon still knows nothing.

Is it me, or did The Wall come down very easily?

What was their plan if they didn’t have an ice dragon? I thought they couldn’t pass because of magic, or something? Are we just sacrificing all coherent storytelling and cohesiveness just to get this damn thing over with?

Also? Kit Harington has a great butt. 

Not a question. Just a factual statement. 

 
 
 
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