​ If you're one of those people who would rather go to the dentist than head to Times Square on New Year's Eve, this video might be for you. Though "Last Week Tonight" is technically on break right now for the holidays, host John Oliver took a minute to film a special New Year's message for everyone, going through all the terrible things you might consider attempting for the holiday, and providing a few different options for excuses you can offer for getting out of them. We appreciate the bonus dig at the movie "Boondock Saints," which too many women were forced to watch in college. Watch the video below, and try to avoid watching hummus turn brown this New Year's Eve. We think there's probably no way to avoid staring at RyanSeacrest, though.