Surprise! Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher got married!

Apparently for Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher, the saying goes, “First comes love, then comes baby, then comes a super-secret holiday weekend wedding where all your friends and family are sworn to secrecy.” Doesn’t really have the same ring to it, though. So apparently Billy Joel wasn’t the only person perusing the “How to surprise your loved ones with a wedding” archives on Goop, as Kunis and Kutcher officially tied the knot over the holiday weekend at some place called the Secret Garden at Parrish Ranch, which is secluded and surrounded by apple orchards and an hour and a half drive from Los Angeles.And honestly, if you’re close to Kunis and Kutcher and they invite you out to a Fourth of July party at something called “the Secret Garden,” that should already be enough of a clue.

Also, this is becoming enough of a trend that we need a better term than “surprise wedding.” How about “ninja wedding”? That would totally make it OK to incorporate smoke bombs into the ceremony, right? Ladies, back me up here.

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