When will the bad fashion stop screaming? The answer is apparently: never.
It’s another week and another trough of rich people zipped up in some very sad looking, sewn together fabric continue to assault our eyes.
Some of the lowest low points in fashion this week are as follows:
Dakota Johnson’s deflated vagina costume that she bought off Amazon.
Chloe Grace Moretz’s number that really screams “even 19th century spinster librarians are allowed to show a little knee every now and then, right?”
Laura Haddock’s dress which traumatized toddlers and pissed off PETA because it’s in fact made of the skin of a Teletubby.
Sarah Hyland, who looks as though she got lost on her way to a performance of “Beauty and the Beast: On Ice!” where she plays a very suspiciously soiled napkin.
Carly Chaikin, who believe it or not, is wearing a dress made of the pieces of skin and fat you cut off last weeks’s raw chicken breast.
Abbey Lee Kershaw, who is, believe it or not, not actually blind.
Kirsten Dunst: This dress, much liker her career after “Bring it On,” is a cascade of disappointment.
Melissa McCarthy’s dress looks like an exotic bird orgy, but one of the birds got sick and vomited a river of pea soup.
Sarah Gertrude Shapiro whose dress has a tensile strength of about 3,620 MPa!
Darby Stanchfield whose outfit looks like the product of a drunken night of regret between a melted bowl of strawberry ice cream and a golfer from the 1930s.
Matt Lee is a web producer for Metro New York. He writes about almost everything and anything. Talk to him (or yell at him) on Twitter so he doesn’t feel lonely @mattlee2669.