Maybe you’ve been wondering: What has Rihanna been up to lately? Besides like, stunning at the Met Gala and, presumably, smoking a great amount of marijuana?
Well, apparently Rih Rih is in Cannes for the Cannes Film Festival. And before you start worrying that she’s doubling down on her acting career — I mean, she has apperances in “Valerian” and “Ocean’s Eight,” but that is besides the point — you should know that she’s mostly there to look really, really good. Oh, and to promote her new collaboration with Chopard. It’s called “Rihanna Loves Chopard.” It’s very on-brand. And she has the Instagram pics to prove just how fab her enviable life has been.
Here’s Rihanna, casually looking over her shoulder as the sunlight pools through a pair of French doors. French doors in France! Ultimate romance.
Rihanna, eyes closed, embraced by the night sky. Leaning on a balcony while the plebeians rush by in their not chauffeured cars below. She’s probably imagining if life can get any better than this, and quickly concluding that no, it can not.
Face it, this woman loves a balcony. And balconies have no choice but to love her back. Or at least, they would, if they could.
So while Rihanna is living her best life in France, dressed in the finest gowns money can borrow, the rest of us are what? Worrying ourselves over the veracity of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s love? Wondering how, exactly, Miley Cyrus is pulling off the hipster virginal bride child aesthetic? Laughing inwardly at the fact that a sinkhole opened up right in front of Mar-A-Lago?
So slay, Rihanna. Just, keep on slayin’ like your name is Buffy and the year is 2000.