Remember those commercials back in the day? “What would you doooooo, for a Klondike bar?” the jingle asked. It’s too cold out, so ice cream enveloped in chocolate is out of the question for this lady, but what would you doooooo for a Trump impeachment? Would you give up orgasms just to see President Donald Trump ousted from the Oval Office?
A survey by editorial brand Damn Joan asked more than 700 female and gender nonconforming Americans whether they would give up the Big O to toss Trump, and 37 percent said, “Yes, immediately.” One person even said they’d give up orgasms and wine.
AND WINE. Like, just offered it. Wasn’t asked to give it up. Just tossed it in there as a bonus.
Not everyone feels that way about a potential Trump impeachment. About 50 percent of those surveyed said they wouldn’t give up sexual climax for anything (which is totally fair) and 17 percent said they want Trump and orgasms.
“We wanted to understand the role orgasms play in the lives of female and gender nonconforming Americans,” said Mikki Halpin, Damn Joan’s editor in chief. “We covered the basics — how often they had orgasms, how recently, and with whom, but we also asked provocative questions like this one.”
Would it be worth it to you? Would you give up orgasms for life? Or a year? Or is sexual satisfaction part of making America great again?
One person described orgasms as “really pleasant full-body sneezes” and another said they’re like that feeling you get right after you finally relieve your full bladder after being “stuck in a car drinking a liter of cola for three hours.”
Although there is an app for that…
Political party or leanings of those questioned weren’t divulged by the survey authors, but a poll from June showed:
More than 73 percent of Democrats and 17 percent of Republicans would give up alcohol forever if it meant they’d see Trump impeached tomorrow. Nearly 31 percent of Republicans would put down the bottle if it meant the media would print positive stories about POTUS.
Damn Joan gave another cheeky “would you rather” scenario: “If your social media accounts automatically announced every time you had an orgasm, what would you do?”
A whopping 62 percent said they would delete their social media accounts tout suite, but a bold 6 percent said they would start faking orgasms just to pump up their numbers.
For more scandalous content, check out Metro’s Sex & Dating section.