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Here's how Robert Pattinson gets the paparazzi off his back

Feel free to try this at home, kids.

Robert Pattinson has a delightful profile in GQ — you should read it! — that covers a lot of how he became the actor and person he’s found himself to be now, at age 31. But this is a gossip column, so let’s skip the important stuff and go straight to what he said about the paparazzi!

Recalling those horrible times when tabloids camped outside of his home, he says, “People were like ‘It’s fine, who cares?’ They’re just photos or whatever.’ They’ll say, ‘Just live your life.’ But that’s not life for me, if someone’s observing it.”

To fight back, the “Good Time” star went to great lengths. Of the below, guess which ones Pattinson tried:

A) Switching cars and clothe with friends, as to not be recognized coming out of a place he’d been seen going into.

B) Riding in the trunks of cars.

C) Never going to the supermarket.

D) Having each of his friends call Ubers while he traded outfits with them in the restaurant bathroom, so that photographers wouldn’t know which car he got into, then sending all the Ubers in different directions. 

E) Keeping five rental cars and a change of clothes in parking lots around town. 

Did you guess all of the above? Because that’s right!

Of the paps, the former teen heartthrob says, “They’re just losers trying to do their jobs.” Which, true.

Also worth noting? This is the man who brilliantly starred in a short film about desperately wanting a hot dog.

Robert Pattinson, I have been dedicated to you since the moment you introduced yourself as Cedric Diggory in “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.” Just like that annoying ukelele ass Jason Mraz song, I am yours.

 
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