Because nothing makes your sex life more exciting than knowing how you compare to others, a British company released photos of the first “smart condom” that records the ins and outs of your romps. Oh, and this sex spy can detect STIs.

 

The i.Con isn’t actually a condom, though. It’s a band that fits around the base of a penis, so if you don’t want it to record while impregnating someone or catching an STI, don a rubber and then fit the band around it.

 

Bonus, it sends the sexytime data right to the wearer’s smartphone so if you want to be that douche in the bar and show off your stats (FYI terrible pick-up idea), have at it!

 

According to the British Condoms website, if you've ever wondered about how many calories you're burning during the no-pants dance, what positions you tend to favor, how many thrusts you get in and how fast you can go (not something women encourage, guys), the i.Con is for you, friend-o.

 

Men with a larger member can adjust the band to fit their bane or blessing of a boner.

 

“It’s here and it’s beautiful,” Adam Leverson, lead engineer for the i.Con Smart Condom, told Metro UK. “We wanted the i.Con to look refined, non-intrusive and lightweight – the finished article is nothing short of any of those things.

“There’s a lot of tech packed into the i.Con and for us to be able to deliver it in such a way that there is absolutely no hindrance to the user was our main goal – and I think we have gone above and beyond with the i.Con to make sure of this.”

The i.Con is waterproof and features snazzy lighting that illuminates your's and your partner’s nasty bits.

“It’s truly the next step in wearable tech and we believe we have pioneered a product that will not only bring an extra element of fun into the bedroom, but will also help indicate potential STI’s present as well as prevent condom slippage, a leading cause of unplanned pregnancy in the UK,” John Simmons, a spokesperson for British Condoms, said.

Would you spend 81 smackaroos for wearable sex tech? You can when the i.Con goes on sale in January 2018. You'll also get the chance to sing, "If you liked it then you should-a put a ring on it." Or maybe that's just us.