Great job, haters. You've gone and scared off Jennifer Lawrence. The "Hunger Games" star insists she's got a firm anti-social media stance, and it's all because you couldn't play nice. "The Internet has scorned me so much that I feel like it's that girl in high school that I'm like, 'Oh, you want to talk about her? Yeah I'll do that!' Take my hoops off, I'm ready to go," she tells says in a BBC radio interview. She should check out our Haters chart, then, since she actually has it pretty easy online, considering.
But it's not just scorn that's keeping her away. Lawrence thinks she just can't handle Twitter. "I don't really understand what it is. It's like this weird enigma that people talk about. It's fine, I respect that, but no, I'll never get a Twitter," she says. Aw, she says "a Twitter" just like my 72-year-old aunt. That's adorable. "If you ever see a Facebook, Instagram or Twitter that says it's me, it most certainly is not." Maybe someone should tell her about her official Facebook page, then.
In other "totally not getting the Internet" news, Bill Cosby got more than he bargained for this week when he asked fans online to "meme" him, offering a meme generator on his site where fans could put fun block text over photos of him from "the Cosby Show" à la Lolcats. (Remember Lolcats? This one was always my favorite.) Well, a lot of people used it, only they used it to reference allegations of rape made against the comedian a decade ago. His team deleted his initial tweet and took down the meme generator as fast as possible, but not before some choice screen grabs could go up.
Just giving you fair warning, New York: Lindsay Lohan is feeling "homesick" and is headed back your way. Lohan will reportedly move back to NYC once her run in the West End production of "Speed-the-Plow" wraps up, according to Radar Online. "She never intended on staying in London forever. She does love it there and has made some great friends in London, but NYC will always be her home." She's also apparently "shopping around" for a new place downtown. On the bright side, I think this means New York is about to get edgy again, right?
Britney Spears can apparently carry on with her new boyfriend, TV producer Charlie Ebersol, now that he's passed her dad's extensive round of background checks. "Anyone dating Britney must undergo a background check and sign a confidentiality agreement," a source says, according to Star magazine. "Obviously, Charlie made the cut." About that confidentiality agreement: In a show of good faith, Spears' dad "offered to pay Ebersol's legal fees if he needed someone to look it over." Ah, young love.
Want a clear indication that comic book movies are officially getting out of hand? How about the rumor that Sony is working on a "Spider-Man" spin-off film about Aunt May, his elderly guardian played by Sally Field in the current incarnation of the franchise? Now, Sally Field won't be in this one, necessarily, as the rumored film will be an "espionage story" that takes place when she's younger, before Peter Parker ends up under her roof. I don't remember Aunt May being a spy before settling down in Queens to frown and fret all the time, but then I don't really remember anything about Aunt May's past from the comics, so why not? Oh right, because it's a terrible idea.
Conan O'Brien posted yet another installment of his hilarious series, "Clueless Gamer," with a look at the new "Assassin's Creed: Unity," which takes place during the French Revolution. "It's by the company Ubisoft," O'Brien says. "Which is what my wife said to me on my wedding night." As usual, O'Brien has some trouble mastering the gameplay, being more interested looking at a painting than escaping the Bastille and killing people. But at least he's impressed by the game's graphics. "You think that's fog," O'Brien says of one arial shot of Paris, "That's actually the odor of the French people wafting up into the city."
Follow Ned Ehrbar on Twitter: @nedrick